The Real Meaning of Manliness
What does it mean to be a man? This has been a topic in which we have joked around about in the clinic, but at the same time eagerly long to understand. Do keep in mind that the guy writing this devotional is only twenty-one years old and still trying to fully understand the meaning of it himself. Is it having a beard, because in that case there's not much hope for me. Although we look at outward characteristics, what if it's how God has been working in the individual from the inside out.
I'm assuming that we can all agree that the greatest man that ever lived was Jesus. He should be the role model for all boys wanting to understanding the meaning of manliness. So instead of looking at Dwayne Johnson or any other supposedly manly figure, let us look at Jesus. Steps to Christ paints an amazing picture of what Jesus was like. This is what Auntie Ellen writes:
"He exercised the greatest tact and thoughtful, kind attention in His intercourse with the people. He was never rude, never needlessly spoke a severe word, never gave needless pain to a sensitive soul. He did not censure human weakness. He spoke the truth, but always in love. He denounced hypocrisy, unbelief, and iniquity; but tears were in His voice as He uttered His scathing rebukes."
All these different traits of Jesus is just a snippet of what manliness really looks like. It contradicts what society says. Society says that manliness is looked upon as having big muscles, a deep voice, and being rude because you know what you want and you don't take no for an answer. But if you look at the statement above, Jesus wasn't pictured as being anything like this. He was portrayed as someone that may have looked and spoken softly if anything, yet at the same time he was also bold when it came to the truth. Listed below are some of my thoughts.
What manliness is:
Love those that are hard to love
A boy says "I watch out for myself" while a man says "I watch out for others as much as myself." I believe part of becoming a man is to have others interests in mind as much as my own. Obviously that's going to have to happen when you're starting a family, but what about towards those people that you just don't naturally get a long with. Phillip Holmes states it like this, "It’s easier to sacrifice and act selflessly towards those we feel are worthy of our affection, love, and resources, but true manhood is displayed when we freely and selflessly sacrifice for the unworthy." That's what made Jesus so phenomenal, he loved those that hated Him. And that is what should make you different from other "men." You love those that are hard to love.
Esteeming others before yourself
After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded. -John 13:5
Kaboom! Jesus washed his disciples feet! If anything, the disciples should have washed His feet. But here a life of manliness is a life of putting others before yourself. I remember during my mission trip to Sumatra, I would recall that culturally speaking it was the wife who was responsible for doing the dishes, guys don't really ever do it. But I don't think that's what real manliness is. Manliness looks more like being willing to wash the dishes, because chances are "honey" has probably had a long and tiring day herself. I believe men and women have different roles, but part of manliness is going beyond a set of roles for the esteeming of others.
What manliness isn't:
Being Boring
I know that kind of sounds stupid for me to say that it is not being boring, but I remember that I used to think that in order to be a man you must be serious and act like you mean business. However, I haven't seen it anywhere in the Bible. It's okay to joke around and have a sense of humor. Laugh at things that make everybody laugh. But on the other side of the spectrum, being a real man doesn't mean you laugh at everything including you passing gas next to all of your other friends. Steps to Christ writes that Jesus was never rude, nor did He ever speak a harsh word. So when people were around Him nobody ever got offended, but he was not described as being someone that didn't attract people because of his seriousness. In Matthew 19 Jesus is seen taking time to be with Kids. If kids would run to Him, then He obviously had to be an awesome guy! My young cousins don't run to me when I am only serious and have a straight face. It's when I smile and act silly, then they start to enjoy spending time with abang Josh. So be happy and make people smile, but remember to never offend anyone through your humor because Christ never did that.
Demanding Your Way
I recall talking marriage and family class about the man being the head of the household, which is completely biblical (Ephesians 5:23). But lets make sure we realize that it doesn't mean that we must get all of our demands met and be rude about it. It's not going around your family demanding this is what we're doing for vacation, this is why we're waking up this early, and I'll let you fill the rest. Yes the man gets the final call, but he must also be willing to reason. The prophet Isaiah paints a picture of a God that reasons with us in Isaiah 1:18. If you look in the verse the context of reasoning has to do with the cleansing of sin. To me that should be something not worth reasoning. We're filthy and it's obvious, but God says let's reason together. That shows how much of a gentleman He is. We should be gentle with those that may not have the same point of view as us. Yes we hold on to our truth, as Jesus did, but be willing to listen. Listening doesn't necessarily mean that you are wrong, it just shows the other individual that you care and are willing to see their point of view.
Honestly, there is so much to being a man according to the Bible as well as Spirit of Prophecy. But those are four thoughts I've come to understand. I realize that for a while I have had a skewed idea of what true manliness is. I'm sure part of it is knowing how to fix the plumbing when the sink explodes, or to change the radiator of a car, and for goodness sake to be able to cook a really good meal. But anyone can learn this. It's the other things mentioned above that is not easily learned. It's too be self sacrificing towards those that you don't favor, to be a gentle guy that attracts people through love, and to be willing to reason rather then demand your way. These are the hard things to grow in. Society has painted such a wrong picture of what it means. And because society has painted a wrong picture, it's hard to get back to what God originally intended for us manly man to look like. But with His help we can get there. I'll be the first one to call out for help, I hope you join me as well.
