The Hole in Her Heart

I was five years old and I remember looking at the clear glass incubator. And there she was, my newly born sister Chelsea. I thought about how cool it was being an older brother, the feeling of protecting someone and having a little added responsibility. But when I looked in the face of my parents the feelings left because I knew something was wrong. My smiled dropped as my parents told me that she had a hole in heart (atrial septal defect for you medical junkies) and a cleft in her lip. Next thing I knew, four days have gone by and Chelsea was laid to rest. I still remember the image of my mom and dad weeping as she was in her coffin. And then the question rises…..why God?

I realize that there are many more people that have had it so much worse then I had it. I was only five years old and not much of a strong connection was made in four days. But I can’t imagine the heartache felt when a father loses her child to a drunk driver, or a child sees his mother get abused by his father. It’ll be but a few moments till the question arises “God why?” I wish I could answer every single “why” but my understanding is just a drop in the ocean of God’s understanding of these things. I’m looking on posting a couple of devotions on some different angles on how to better understand the “why” of it all. The first point is listed below.

1) God Doesn’t Cause Suffering

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. James 1:17

but while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat and went his way. Matthew 13:25

I think We give God too much credit sometimes. You’re probably like what are you talking about Josh, shouldn’t we give all credit to God? Yes and no. I give God the credit for bringing me this far in my life, but I don’t give him the credit when I fail a test, hurt somebody, or lose a loved one. I find it ironic when people in high positions make statements of “where is God when the world is hurting.” They say He doesn’t exist but when another school shooting happens, He is the one responsible for it. God is simply a scape goat because somebody needs to be blamed for all of the heartache happening in this world. But what if we’re blaming the wrong person all this time?

In the parable found in Matthew 13, it tells the story of a man who worked in a field. One night he goes to sleep and he finds that his field is full of weeds the next day. He immediately presumed that the owner of the field mixed in bad seeds with his good seeds. But the farmer goes on to say that an enemy is the one that planted these bad seeds at night. This story parallels to the bad things that happen to us. It’s not God letting his frustration out on us but rather the devil doing what he does. The devil is the one that sows seeds of death, anger, heartache, and sadness.

Dear reader, maybe you have experienced times of heartache that has left a hole in your heart. You might be frustrated and angry at God asking why would He allow these things to happen. But I want to assure you that God hurts when you hurt. There’s so much more to the other side of the coin. He only brings joy and happiness rather than death, and He notices each time you cry (psalms 56:8). He is not the one causing all of the pain that may be happening in your life. Rather, he welcomes you to come to Him and find rest for your soul (Matthew 11:28)

Maybe you still have a lot of questions, I encourage you to keep searching and resting in the fact that God loves you and He hurts when you hurt. If any of you are still looking for some resources on this topic, take some time and look at my friend Dean’s podcast titled Why They Did That (click on the link for the itunes link, it is also on spotify!). The episode titled Why Good People Suffer really brought new light for me in the realm of human suffering. I will also post more devotionals on this topic and I pray that you find what you’re looking for. -Josh

Can’t wait till that day sis.