Declared Not Discovered
Okay, so it's Valentines Day and I'm looking at articles on Desiring God. And as you would imagine, half of the articles were on marriages and relationships. However, I saw one that caught my eye that was written by Marshall Segal. I want to make a serious disclaimer, I'm a single duuude and I don't have much relationship or marriage advice. But, I am better realizing what the purest form of a relationship looks like through mentors and articles, so here's a thought.
Mr. Segal mentioned in his devotional :
“Marriage is mainly a love declared, not a love discovered”
To me this is quite radical. I mean, when you look at movies it claims that if you connect with a person well enough, and they laugh at your jokes, it means that you have to marry the person. There is no commitment necessary because you have discovered that you love the person and that is enough to make everything go fine. But that belittles the fact that love also has a commitment part to it.
When a person is about say their wedding vows, they are not simply stating their discovery of how awesome their partner is. They're declaring that yes they have noticed different things they enjoy about the other person, but more importantly the fact that they are declaring their love for them and committing to it. Society seems to base marriage on a discovery of love rather than a declaration of it. Marriage is a declaration, not a discovery! It's a statement saying that even though there will be bad days and times of hardship and possibly even thoughts of quitting, both members of the party will hold on to a declaration of love that has been made. Thus a couple makes it through.
But what does Jesus have to do with any of this!? Look at what Jeremiah 31:3 writes:
The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying:
“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. Jeremiah 31:3
This is God making a declaration, not a discovery! Notice the keyword have. The only reason have would be their is because it has already been done. For example you only say I have washed the car only if you actually have washed the car. So this act of loving us is something that God has done. Now I'm not trying to get into an argument of God's perspective and dealing with time, but the point is God already made the declaration of love to us. There's the form of commitment. God's love is not a discovery that He actually loves us, but rather a promise of love to us from the past till today.
If the word have wasn't their, then it would be God saying that I love you. That in and of itself is true, but it loses the declaration found when you put have inside of it. We say I love you quite easily, but it doesn't always show a declaration of true love. The have is just the frosting on the cake, to God's discovery and proposal to His love for us.
So this is what I want you to get out of this. Love in the form of a marriage is a declaration, not only a discovery. But even more important, God has already declared His love for you. That, in and of itself will keep you going with joy throughout this life here on earth, whether you be single or not.
